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Showing posts with label frame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frame. Show all posts

Friday, 11 September 2009

Ladies man or little lady???

Who would have thought that self-styled 'clunge-magnet', Jude Jasper, was actually more 'Judy Garland' than 'Hey Jude'???

Well, they say that those that protest too much have the most to hide, don't they? And throughout this series Jude has protested quite a bit...

So ladies, sorry to shatter your fantasies of a night spent rolling around on expensive hotel sheets with this pocket-sized pop prince, but the truth is out - Jude is Gay. He prefers the scent of a man. He likes to keep with his own...as these pictures irrefutably show:



Suddenly it all makes sense: his near melt-down at 'touching' Liam Gallagher; his heart-felt odes to the 'genius' of Kele Okereke of Bloc Party; his pedantic obsession with his clothes; and the sure giveaway - the constant 'chase me, chase me' mincing around fellow WKS contestant Dieter 'the body' Dahl (the love that dare not breathe it's name????)

But Jude - c'mon, this is 2009. You want to be in the entertainment business. Who gives a shit? No one, little man, but you. After all, it hasn't done Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Michael Stipe, Elton John, Lou Reed, Morrissey, to name but a few, any harm harm...


You'll see in time. David Hampton is just looking out for you. You'll thank me in the long run...


As always, glad to be of help. x

Looks like someone didn't just kill summer...

Kian Oduya should be in prison. Back To Reality has come into exclusive possession of some disturbingly incriminating evidence that shows what appears to be a straight-up confession by Kian over a hit and run incident two years ago.


According to Kian, he was driving back from a party in the early hours of the morning, hit a pedestrian and...drove off.

"I've lived with this for the last two years", moans killer-Kian, without a trace of regret.




This 'confession' happened a few weeks back on the WKS bus and was, unknown to Kian, caught by the bus cameras (hello you fool - this is a reality show...the cameras are rolling!) It was never broadcast and the producers believed the tape has been erased. But, dear readers, as you will have gathered by now, David Hampton is better than any hack when it comes to digging out the truth.


When Dieter, understandably, urged cold-blooded Kian to go to the police, the coward replied:
"Hit and run? they'll lock me away - five years minimum..."


Well sir, you better get used to it - BTR takes a pretty dim view of this sort of thing.

Though i'm sure now I've done the right thing the relevant authorities will be in touch...

Only happy to help.


It's nice to be nice you know - your caring friend David.

Thursday, 28 May 2009

If you leave 8 monkeys

In an edit suite long enough, they will eventually cut together the absolute truth about anyone twat enough to


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'audition' for the Apprentice