I like to think of what I am doing here as a kind of public service. A kind of cautionary tale for all you would-be reality show contestants. Don't do it kids...it seriously screws you up.
They say: "I'm strong. What you see is what you get with me. I have nothing to hide"
Jude - Stomped around blowing a permanent wolf-whistle to anything in a skirt. Bored everyone to tears with tales of his sexual prowess with the ladies. Ranted endlessly about his unique sexual charisma that, apparently, the girls could no more resist than Pete Doherty can the crack pipe....
Kian - I'm a good person. I'm bright and honest and true. I am not easily led and I have nothing to hide. I will show them all that the spotlight of reality TV doesn't always expose dirt and shame. What have I got to be ashamed of??? Wrong!
And then there's Dieter... a hero to all. A true hero, right? RIGHT? Well, we'll see about that - watch this space...
But, like lambs to the slaughter, they never learn. Let's look at the genre's most recent offering, Who Killed Summer...
They say: "I'm strong. What you see is what you get with me. I have nothing to hide"
I say: "Crap!"
Jude - Stomped around blowing a permanent wolf-whistle to anything in a skirt. Bored everyone to tears with tales of his sexual prowess with the ladies. Ranted endlessly about his unique sexual charisma that, apparently, the girls could no more resist than Pete Doherty can the crack pipe....
But, you have been hiding something, haven't you Jude? Seems the ladies don't stand a chance...
Emma - I'm strong, I don't care what people think of me, I can take whatever the press will throw at me when I'm more famous than God, for being famous.
But, that's not true is it Emma? You do have something to hide. You are terrified if the truth about your past comes out that it'll shatter any image you have spent so long carefully building
Kian - I'm a good person. I'm bright and honest and true. I am not easily led and I have nothing to hide. I will show them all that the spotlight of reality TV doesn't always expose dirt and shame. What have I got to be ashamed of??? Wrong!
And then they say: "I'm strong. I play it as I want to. I can't be played with and manipulated by some dumb show - I'm made of stronger stuff...I have standards, morals, I wouldn't do something I didn't really want to because of being on the show"
I say: "Crap!"
Tete - So clean and sober, so proud. So strong in your new skin. You simply took part in this to show both yourself and the world that you were no longer the hopeless junky rock-star kid cliche, didn't you? You didn't need drugs in your life? And nothing or no one would change that, would it?Wrong!
Claire - So chaste. So pure. Such a fine moral compass. I'm a virgin and proud of it. Sex is about love and commitment in the eyes of God, isn't it? I wear my 'promise ring' to show the world that I am proud of these values.
And no dumb reality show would possible manipulate me into changing this. No 'silly little blog', no harshly worded critique from a stranger could possibly embarrass me to go against all that I hold dear and stand for, could it? Hmm.
And no dumb reality show would possible manipulate me into changing this. No 'silly little blog', no harshly worded critique from a stranger could possibly embarrass me to go against all that I hold dear and stand for, could it? Hmm.
And then there's Dieter... a hero to all. A true hero, right? RIGHT? Well, we'll see about that - watch this space...
Puppets - the lot of them. As they all are. As anyone stupid enough to want to expose themselves day and night to complete strangers is. And they all deserve exactly what they get.
