You may have noticed a complete absence of comments about the moment's big reality event, Big Brother. See it as a protest. I have found this year to be so utterly banal; barrel-scrapingly infantile; preposterously humiliating and downright shit that I can't bring myself to waste any precious words.
The concensus is that this series, likely to be C4's last version, is the 'put it all on red' edition for the producers. They've gone back through all the boxes left over from previous editions, the boxes marked 'ideas for challenges/wind-ups/housemate head-jams that not even a malicious 7-year old child would use' and...used them all.
Draw glasses and a tashe on your face in permenant marker every day
Re-name yourself by deedpoll Halfwit and Dogface
Only dump on that glass box in the garden in full view of the world
And, of course, like doped-up children, mindlessly following Peter Pan....they all do it. No questions asked.
Words cannot express the loathing and contempt I feel for these vacant human husks, these pathetic empty pages so lacking in self-esteem that they would, no doubt about it, eat their own genitals if it secured them an extra £5 shopping budget.
